So it has finally come to my realisation that it's only a few months away till my batchmates step down from CCA & eventually graduate and leave TPJC forever. While i'm gonna be stuck here still mugging my ass off for my Alevels next year, InsyaAllah. I can't stand the thought of watching them leave without me & everything. I know im being a little bit hyperbolical since it's only an extra year, but it's just you know, that bitter feeling. That feeling that they're all off to somewhere better. & you're just... stuck there. That they're eventually forget you & the next time you meet up is when someone in your clique's gnna get married, or smth like that. I know everyone's gnna reassure me that everything's gonna be alright & we'll keep in touch and all, but that's apparently never the case for me. But don't get me wrong, i love having the company of my current batch, they're really awesome people and im sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, really thankful to have them in my life, but it's never the same ya know? I mean sometimes i feel really lost as to where i stand. If i chose to go with that particular group, would the people in the other group be offended? I ask myself that everytime. Coz it's really a dilemma for me everytime. Coz that's how i am you see, always wanting to please people except myself. Sometimes i honestly do wish i could turn back time to where my mistakes started. But if i did that, i wouldnt have met my current batch of fantastic friends.You see my dilemma now? And that's only the minor part. It would take me days to actually give you the full story. 

Yeah so anyway, seeing your batchmates leave. It's just gnna be really emotionally painful for me i guess. I mean, if im already feeling this way like months before they officially graduate, i can't imagine what i would actually do when it really does finally happen. I just hope i wont lose that motivation to go to school & such. Coz if i do, what's the whole point of repeating another year right?